Saturday, January 28, 2006
HOW TO TAKE A SHOWER LIKE A MAN/WOMAN
Kelli always sends me the best emails!! I found myself laughing out loud!! I hope you enjoy!!**************HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according tolights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband alongthe way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to domore sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah andpumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 addedvitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes untilred. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
**************HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub thewhole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.
****If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behindthis, there is something SO very wrong with you.
Friday, January 27, 2006
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what did you think? I wish I looked better with no make-up!!!
2. How much cash do you have on you? About $50.
What is a word that rhymes with "TEST"? Need some REST!!!
4. Favorite planet? Earth
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? My sister Tristan
6. What is your favorite song right now? Check up on it by Beyonce
7. What shirt are you wearing? Grey Janis Joplin t-shirt and black sweatpants
8. Do you "label" yourself? Yea, high strung
9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing now? Black fuzzy flip flop house shoes, and unpainted toenails..... Yuck!!
10. Bright or Dark Room? Bright!!
11. What were you doing at midnight last night? Talking to David about money being the root of all evil!!
12. What is a saying that you say a lot? Shut-up! (Not being ugly)
13. Who told you they loved you last? David.
14. How many days of work did you miss this week? None, being a stay at home mom, I never get a day off.
15. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? I need to get the ones off of my memory stick!!
16. Favorite age you've been so far? 18 when I graduated and got married and 23 when I had Dawson.
17. What is your current desktop picture? It's at the top of this post, my blogger is screwed and I don't have time to mess with it today!!
18. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you choose?Fly and make good money from the publicity
19. Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson? Carmen
20. Who would you love to reunite with? My Papaw Woodie and Mama Bert and Mamaw Julia
21. When was the last time you said, "I am sorry?" This morning to Dawson because he wanted more strawberry milk and he is on a diet and can only have one glass a day!!
22. Who has the cutest blog in your click? Ginger
23. What did you eat last? Cinnamon Toast Crunch
24. What kind of car do you drive? Nissan Pathfinder
25. What do you plan to accomplish this year? Buy a house and get it moved in!!
Thanks Sarah!! That was fun, I tag whoever want to join in with the list thing!!
Have a good weekend!!?)
Calandar thought for the day: Our greatest weariness comes from work not done ~Eric Hoffer
Monday, January 23, 2006
A Positive Resolution
As I stand back and take a long look at my life, to me it looks like a rerun of negativity... I don't think I can change it... I've already tried... I can only pray that God will take care of the situation... I'm leaving it up to him... I no longer want to be that little man in the corner!!
David has been excellent with supporting me with all of the many ups and downs that life has dealt me... Sometimes I wonder why and how he still loves me unconditionally... No one else has ever stood beside me like him... No other man could ever make me feel so loved!!
I wonder why I try so hard to please the ones that can't be pleased... How can they act so unbothered?? Why worry about it?? I'm the only one that is bothered with the pain... Still I can't help but try harder... Only to get knocked back down....
Will I finally get enough?? Is is worth the consequences?? Will they finally come to the conclusion that they are the ones with the problem?? Or will they continue to blame everyone else who surrounds them?? Is it the way they were raised?? Or was it my raising??
My New Years resolution (I know, I know it's a little late).... Eliminate the negativity.... Stay comfortably away from the painful sources of negativity... Surround myself with positive influences... Stop looking for the bad in everything... Live laugh and love... So one day I can look back and say, I did all that I could and I'm proud of the person that I've become!! No one or nothing can hurt me anymore... Unless I allow it!!
Calendar thought for the day... "If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape 100 days of sorrow." ` Chinese proverb...
That's perfect for today!!! And now, so much good to look forward to!!
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
I'm a very trusting person, but come on!!
I had a dreaded orthodontist appointment this morning at 9.... Remind me to make the next one in the afternoon, so that if anything bad happens, it won't be first thing in the morning..The office was packed.. There were no parking spaces, so I carefully parked over to the side behind the other cars. I waited for a seat... They called me back and I got comfy in the chair (that almost makes me go to sleep). One of the assistants come in the room and said "are you driving the Pathfinder?" I said "yeah", I assumed they needed me to move it... She had a funny look on her face and said "come look." So I got up and went to the front door. There was this little girl, barely 16 if that, standing there with a blank look on her face.... She said "I was backing up and I hit your car, but there are no scratches or anything!! Do you want to come and look?" Uhh Yeah, I thought and walked out the door.. As I walked out the door, I could see my bumper had been knocked loose.... As I got closer it was all scratched up too... I said "um, it is pretty scratched, do you have your insurance information?" She said "um no, not with me, but I can give you my cell phone number"..... Being the nice person that I am I would've probably left with that, but I have had that happen before and didn't make a police report and almost stuck with paying for something that wasn't my fault...
I called the police and they came and made a report along with giving the other girl a ticket for no proof of insurance and no tags.... She and I had to fill out a form telling about what happened... Then we had to exchange them.... Her's said "I was parked in a parking space and was attempting to pull out and bumped into a SUV that was behind me not in a parking spot but, was parked.." Regardless, there were no other spaces to park in and she had plenty of room to back up in her Cavalier and not hit my parked car..... So now, with only one payment left on the trusty Pathfinder, I guess I'll get a new bumper!! I did make sure I thanked her for coming in to find me and let me know she'd hit my car... Some people wouldn't have done that!!
Just a little reminder, don't leave home without your game face and insurance card.... They both could come in very handy at any given time!!:)
I hope everyone is a having a good "hump" day!!
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Bunko
The 13th was not a superstitious factor on Friday night Bunko! This was only my second time to play but it's so easy and addictive!! It really gives me something to look forward to once a month.. Being a stay at home mom, babysitters are few and far between.. But for one night a month, it's nice to get together with 11 other women to have a little girl time!!
My wonderful husband stayed at home with Dawson and Kenny Ray came over to keep them company!! They grilled steaks and didn't save a bite for me and Ginger....:( But that was okay because we had a lot of good finger foods to tide us over!!
I don't know about anyone else, but I don't play for the money... However the first time that I played I did win $10 and it was kind of nice!!:)
Bridget was the big winner this time.... She had the most Bunko's!! Every time that you turned around she was screaming "Bunko!! Stop it right now!!" I've posted a few pictures from the party, so check them out when you get a chance!! You can't get the full effect of being there, but it's a start!!
There was a nice round of sum wrestling in the mix that gave everyone a nice laugh... I don't know how it got started, it didn't matter... The funny thing was 3 women standing in the kitchen with towels between their legs bouncing around!! It was hilarious!! Enjoy the pictures and have a great week!!
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Here's is all of the Bunko girls, minus me behind the camera!! I know that my camera has a timer, but I haven't taken the time to read the instruction book!!;) Don't pay attention to the crooked blinds and pictures, that was a tight squeeze.. Before this Julie's house was in tip top shape!! I love what she's done with the new colors!!
Me and two of my best friends Crystal and Julie!!I've known these two girls for more than 15 years!! It's been fun to catch up with them through Bunko and blogging!!
Ginger and I rode together, but I'm not sure if we should do this again... Each time that we played together, we didn't do worth a flip!! At the end of the night her name was drawn for the doorprize, so she did take home a little cash!!
Friday, January 13, 2006
PUH LEEZE!! NO MO!!
Christi did this to me!"The first player of this game starts with the topic five weird habits of yourself and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals."
1. Every night when I lie down in my bed I try to find a different sleeping position... But that is impossible because I can only sleep on my right side, with my left leg bent, my right arm under my pillow and my left arm on top of the pillow holding the cover around my face but not on top of my mouth and nose, my right leg kicked out to touch David's calf and my booty to his side!! Ahhhh, then I can get some sleeping done!
2. I have a habit that dates back to about the eighth grade... I love to type... And I find myself typing the words that I hear as they're being said... Yeah, I know I 'm a weirdo! So if we're ever having a conversation and you see my tapping my fingers... Yep, it's me typing, on my imaginary computer every word you are saying to me!!:)
3. I can't stand for my clothes to pile up.. I can only go about 3 days without washing clothes. After that I have to wash at least a load or two.. And I can't wear dirty clothes.. If I've only worn them for an hour and I change clothes... They immediately go into the dirty clothes..
4. I can't stand for my house to be dirty!! I'm constantly cleaning something, somewhere in this house. It drives me crazy for it to be messy... But I can handle messy lots better than dirty!! I have certain days set aside for cleaning certain things.
For example:
Monday: wash clothes, sweep and mop, vacuum
Tuesday: clean bathrooms, go to the grocery store, vacuum
Wednesday: dust, windex, sweep and mop, vacuum
Thursday: wash clothes, straighten up outside, dust and windex, vacuum
Friday: finish washing clothes so that I don't have to wash on the weekend, straighten up inside,
dust, windex, sweep & mop, vacuum, touch up bathrooms..
Saturday and Sunday: try to keep everything inline without having to do any major cleaning... Besides of
course cooking each and everyday and cleaning up our normal messes!!!
5. If you'd never been to my house and only judged my cleanliness by my car.... You'd think that I lived in a junkyard.. I don't know what it is but I can't keep my car clean, and it doesn't bother me... Because I can just get out and shut the door and whatever, go about my business in my clean house.... But my house has to be spotless...
Okay now I get to pick 5 people to do the same!! This is sorta like a bad forward from email that I hate to get... Sorry guys, I happily obliged and I hope that you do the same!:) This will not be an ongoing adventure to look forward to!!
I tag Jenny, Julie, Crystal, Jeanne and Sarah. I can't wait to read about your weird little quirks!!:)
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Shout Out!!
Just want to send a "shout out" to Mrs. June!! Happy reading!!! (you know you could say hi every once in awhile!!) :) I love you silly woman!!!Wednesday, January 11, 2006
New Twist to Kidnapping?? (True or Not could be helpful)
I've been trying to recover from a really bad cold, so I'm not really in a writing mood.. My mom sent me this, it's very interesting so I thought I'd share it with all of my blogging friends!!A new twist to Kidnapping (NOT a joke). Please read this, a new twist on kidnapping, a very smart survivor!About a month ago there was a woman standing by the mall entrance passing out flyers to all the women going in. The woman had written the flyer herself to tell about an experience she had, so that she might warn other women. The previous day, this woman had finished shopping, went out to her car and discovered that she had a flat. She got the jack out of the trunk and began to change the flat. A nice man dressed in business suit and carrying a briefcase walked up to her and said, "I! Noticed you're changing a flat tire. Would you like me to take care of it for you?"The woman was grateful for his offer and accepted his help. They chatted amicably while the man changed the flat, and then put the flat tire and the jack in the trunk, shut it and dusted his hands off. The woman thanked him profusely, and as she was about to get in her car, the man told her that he left his car around on the other side of the mall, and asked if she would mind giving him a lift to his car. She was a little surprised and she asked him why his car was on other side. He explained that he had seen an old friend in the mall that he hadn't seen for some time and they had a bite to eat and visited for a while he got turned around in the mall and left through the wrong exit, and now he was running late and his car was clear around on the other side of the mall. The woman hated to tell him "no" because he had just rescued her from having to change her flat tire all by herself, but she felt uneasy. Then she remembered seeing the man put his briefcase in ! Her trunk before shutting it and before he asked her for a ride to his car. She told him that she'd be happy to drive him around to his car, but she just remembered one last thing she needed to buy. She said she would only be a few minutes; he could sit down in her car and wait for her; she would be as quick as she could be. She hurried into the mall, and told a security guard what had happened; the guard came out to her car with her, but the man had left. They opened the trunk, took out his locked briefcase and took it down to the police station. The police opened it (ostensibly to look for ID so they could return it to the man). What they found was rope, duct tape, and knives. When the police checked her "flat" tire, there was nothing wrong with it; the air had simply been let out. It was obvious what the man's intention! Was, and obvious that he had carefully thought it out in advance. The woman was blessed to have escaped harm. How much worse it would have been if she had children with her and had them wait in the car while the man fixed the tire, or if she had a baby strapped into a car seat. Or if she had gone against her judgment and given him a lift.
PLEASE BE SAFE AND NOT SORRY! JUST A WARNING TO ALWAYS BE ALERT AND USE YOUR HEAD!!!
Thursday, January 05, 2006
My 100 Things
As you well know, this is another post completely stolen from everyone who has ever made a "100 Things" list... It's kind of jumbled up and jumps around but here we go... I hope you don't get too bored, everything is pretty random!!:)1. I was born in Monroe, Louisiana.
2. November 7, 1979
3. I've lived in Hamburg almost all of my life.
4. When I was 3 or 4 my mom, dad, and I moved to Bastrop.
5. I started to kindergarten when I was 4, at prairie View Academy.
6. My parents divorced when I was 4.
7. When we moved back to Hamburg I had to repeat kindergarten. (In Arkansas you had to be 6 to start to the first gradeat that time.)
8. My mom and dad got back together and split up NUMEROUS times after the divorce.
9. I am the oldest grandchild on my mom's side of the family.
10. I was the youngest grandchild on my dad's side of the family for 17 years. (see #18)
11. My dad remarried when I was 8 or 9.
12. My mom and I lived with Mama Bert, my great grandmother after the divorce..
13. My mom remarried when I was 13 or 14.
14. I lived with my mom and her new husband Shane in Crossett for about a year.
15. We moved to Fountain Hill in 1995.
16. I was an only child until I was 16.
17. I have a 10 year old sister from my mom.
18. I have a 9 year old brother from my dad.
19. I started smoking when I was 14.
20. My mom and dad never knew about #19 until I was about 17.
21. I once borrowed my mom's car during the Crossett Rodeo and got into a lot of trouble... She said that I stole it.. But I insist that I didn't.. I mean stolen, means stolen... I brought it back and tried to make sure that I put everything back just as she'd left it.;)
22. I think that she was upset because I was only like 12 or 13.. But it was all just innocent fun..
23. My friends and I took some boys home that we knew and my aunt lived right down the road.
needless to say, my mom got a phone call from her the very next morning... I was cold busted...
24. I've had boyfriend's that used to like to come over because they thought that my mom was "hot".
25. I started taking dance lessons when I was 2.
26. I was on a dance competition team for about 3 years
27. I quit after about 7 years.. That was long enough. .. I took from Mrs. Jennie Mann... If you know her.. You know why.
28. I continued to take from other instructors until I was 16.
29. I always made super grades until I was in the 5th grade and I got pneumonia and was out of school for about a month.
30. I guess that I just never caught up after that... Plus, that's the time that I really noticed boys.... (yuck, what was I thinking??)
31. I graduated from Fountain Hill in 1998...
32. I didn't go there just to graduate... I actually lived there..
33. Once when I was really young, my mom dad and I went to my papaw Norwood's to ride horses.. My papaw was riding the crazy one. He opened his can of beer and it spooked the horse. The horse took off throwing papaw to the ground.. He luckily wasn't hurt and he never spilled his beer.
34. When we first moved to Fountain Hill, some friends came and picked me up and we went to the liquor store... I drank a pint of Vodka and puked in the sink at someone else's house.. They took me home passed out and drunk.. My mom came in and found me and let's just say she wasn't very happy with me on that night.......
35. Before my mom remarried.. She had a serious boyfriend that had a little boy.. My mom bought him a guinea pig to keep at our house.. I was supposed to be feeding and watering the guinea pig... But I remember having other things to do like, probably talk on the phone... One day I remembered the guinea pig... But had forgotten about food and water for a few weeks.. Colby was upset about that poor guinea pig.. (So was I since I was the one who found him.)
36. While growing up I had a poodle named Bo and he was like ancient... He had cataracts all over his eyes so we couldn't rearrange the furniture or anything.. Once he got lost and we thought that he was gone forever... He was 3 blocks away the whole time.. The lady brought him home after he'd been gone about 3 months..
37. Bo also got ran over like 3 or 4 times and still lived through it. He must havve been like 100 in dog years before he finally died..(
38. In high school I was voted prom queen two years in a row.
39. I was also voted yearbook queen..
40. My classmates made a prediction that I would have the most kids..
41. I was also voted, along with my high school sweetheart, a lot of other junk...
42. There were only like 30 people in my graduating class.
43. #'s 38, 39, 40, 41, 42 don't mean crap when your grown.
44. I went to beauty school when I graduated high school
45. I was quickly a "beauty school dropout".. I wanted to fix and cut hair, not study.. I really didn't feel like I was learning what I needed to be anyway...
46. I was planning on transferring to a different school after I got married, but I changed my mind.
47. I'm the worst procrastinator.
48. I delivered newspapers when I was a senior in high school. (just to businesses, not door to door)
49. I don't like to read books.. But I wish I did.
50. I'm now a blog addict.....
51. I'm only friends with a few people that I was friends with in school.
52. I have a habit of saying whatever is on my mind.
53.. I also have a bad habit of saying what is on my mind and not think about it what I'm going to say, before I say it.
54. I can't take pills, they knock me out...
55. I've never done any hard drugs. Never had the want to!!
56. I've had my ears pierced since I was 2.
57. When I was 20 I wanted a second hole in each ear... But then I realized I looked stupid with 2 holes in each ear and let it grow up.
58. When I was 23 I went with some friends to a tattoo parlor and got my belly button pierced.
59. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant with my boo..
60. I got married when I was 18..
61. # 60 is the best thing that has ever happened to me!!!
62. I love my husband more today than I did the day I married him... And love him more each day!!
63.I was married 5 years before I had Dawson.
64. Before we found out for sure that I was having a boy... I had that gut feeling.
65. I couldn't come up with a girl name at all..
66. I found that the name Dawson means "David's son", and knew that was the perfect name.
67. I would recommend my obstetrician to anyone!!
68. My OB induced me two weeks early.
69. I was in labor for about 15 hours..
70. I pushed for 2 hours.
71. I finally had a cesarean section.
72. David has told people that Dr. Lee drew the line on my belly and he cut it with his pocket knife..
73. I remember being so scared to stand up after having Dawson. To my surprise, it was nothing...
74. I don't understand how people say that having a child is so painful... I went through is all and never hurt.
75. Maybe the reason for #74 is because I had an epidural early...:)
76. I went back to work at Foote's when Dawson was 12 weeks old..
77. We had a lady coming to our house to keep him.
78. She couldn't keep coming because of her own family.
79. We went through many more "nanny's".
80. I took him to a day care when he was 6 months old..
81. When he came home with a knot on his head the second day, and the daycare lady couldn't tell me how he got it... He never went back!!!
82. I left a full package of diapers at that lady's house and I never went back!!
83. I quit my job to be a stay at home mom..
84. I left my job and told them that I wanted to stay with him until he was one.. Then he would be old enough to stay at a daycare and defend himself.
85. Dawson will be 3 in March and I'm still at home.
86. I've had job offers and it doesn't match up to the payment I get from David and Dawson with all of their kisses and hugs throughout the day!! I'd rather be broke than my baby be in daycare.
87. I wore braces when I was about 12 until I was 16.
88. I hated them but really hated my retainer, so I never wore it.
89. About 6 months ago I realized that my teeth were getting crooked again.
90. So now I have another retainer that makes me talk really stupid... But I want my straight teeth back!!
91. I should wear my glasses. But they get on my nerves!!
92. I hate to be woke up.
93. I love to cook.
94. I'm pretty good at #93... (I think)
95. I'm a cleaning fanatic.
96. I'm also a clutter bug.
97. #96 makes #95 an all day everyday job!!
98. I like for all of my clothes to be line dried.
99. I love to sleep!!
100. I'm glad I came up with 100 things to put on this list, because it's time for a break!!
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Caldrea
If you love Caldrea, like I love Caldrea, click here for some outrageous deals!! It's only on the seasonal scents. My personal favorite is the Pineapple Nutmeg... It is yummy!! To me this scent is not just for the holidays!! I didn't know about all the selection of cleaning and living supplies... They even have dryer sheets!! What's your favorite scent??
I hope everyone is having a wonderful week back to work and school after the holiday rush!!
Sunday, January 01, 2006
~~Happy 2006~~
I hope that everyone has a happy and prosperous New Year!! For me it's off to a wonderful start & I'm really looking forward to the new year upon us!! Gah, they seem to be flying by faster and faster!!On New Years Eve I had a wonderful time visiting and sharing different stories with friends old and new!! We have to do it again, girls!! Let's not wait until 2007!!
I hope everyone has a terrific week!
L-R Me, Betsy, Ginger & Stephanie.. For a small get together, I think we all had a great time!! Lots of food, drinks and laughter... What could be better??
